Tabletop Bio-ethanol Fire Pit Review | Cheap Motorhome Heat Tested

Winter motorhome life does something to you. You start making decisions that would get you politely removed from a fire safety class. You accept damp as a lifestyle. You treat 12.3 volts like it’s a personality test. And you start buying random heating solutions because you are sick of being cold and even sicker of watching the battery monitor lie to your face.

So I bought a tabletop bio-ethanol fire pit thingy. Cheap enough to feel like a bad idea, shiny enough to feel like a good idea, and small enough to pretend it wasn’t another unnecessary “van upgrade”.

JHY DESIGN Black 28cm Tall Metal and Glass Fireplace/Firepit for Indoor Outdoor

I had to unbox it like a criminal

I also had to be sneaky about it because Mrs. M was in the room and didn’t know what I’d bought. Which is a ridiculous situation considering we live in a motorhome and there’s nowhere to hide anything. But still, I tried. 

The box basically opens with a warning saying “don’t use knives, don’t use scissors to open”, because then how do you get in? Telepathy? I ignored it, obviously, and went in like a surgeon. A tired, impatient surgeon.

The glass problem

The first thing I clocked was the bubble wrap around the glass. I don’t mind glass in a house, but in a motorhome? The whole point of the glass is to keep the flame contained and stop it from flapping about, but the minute I saw it, my brain went straight to: “How well is that going to travel with how we travel?” 

That’s still my biggest concern, not the fire, the glass.

Setting it up without launching it through a window

Setup is simple, even if it feels like you need three hands and a degree in patience. Burner goes in, glass goes around it, stones sit in a way that feels decorative but also weirdly structural, like they’re doing a job but nobody will admit it.

I’ll also be keeping the packaging and bubble wrap because I already knew future me would need it.

Fuel and cost, aka the surprisingly cheap bit

I picked up two litres of bio-ethanol from B&Q for £9, which sounds like the beginning of a house fire, but it’s true. 

Once you’ve filled the burner pot, it runs for roughly an hour if you fill it properly. That’s long enough for a proper sit-down in the evening when the van feels like its a proper home.

Does it actually give off heat or is it just “vibes”

This is where it surprised me.

It gives off real heat. Proper radiant heat. Not diesel heater hot air blasting at your ankles, but the kind that makes your hands feel warm and your face stop being miserable.

I was impressed enough that I started justifying the purchase out loud, which is usually how I know something has actually worked.

The smell, the condensation, and the internet panic

There is a smell. When it’s burning, it smells a bit like spilled vodka, rum, or whisky. Like you’ve dropped a spirit, and now you’re pretending it didn’t happen. 

When it goes out, you get a little final whiff, and that’s actually useful because you can tell it’s done without staring at it like a caveman.

I haven’t noticed any extra moisture beyond normal winter motorhome life. But it is winter. Everything is damp. Even your thoughts are damp.

“Is it safe though?”

It’s bio-ethanol. It gives off water and carbon dioxide, a ventilation issue, so yes, crack a window. We’ve got a monoxide detector anyway, and the van is overly ventilated; it annoyingly leaks heat everywhere! If you’re the type who seals everything airtight and then wonders why you feel weird, this is not for you. 

Also, and this feels obvious but apparently needs saying: it’s an active fire, be careful around it! That’s how you end up being a local news story.

Mrs. M’s verdict (the only one that matters)

Mrs. M loved it. That’s it. That’s the review.

I even got a sound bite while she was hiding in the bathroom to avoid being on camera, which is honestly the most relatable thing.

The travel test, because we’re not living in a showroom

After the first proper use, we relocated it to the main living area and put a silicone pad underneath it so it doesn’t move around when driving. It’s been stable, and it hasn’t tried to launch itself across the van yet. 

I still don’t fully trust the glass long-term, but for now it’s behaving.

(because I’m cautious)

I tested the extinguishing plunger to see how quickly it puts the flame out.

Simple. Down it goes. Flame out. No drama.

Which is good, because if the “emergency stop” part of your fire device is rubbish, you’ve basically just bought a fancy anxiety generator.

Would I recommend one?

It will not replace a diesel heater. It’s not heating your full motorhome in February while you sit in your pants pretending you’re fine. But as supplementary heat, it’s cheap to run, looks genuinely cosy, and gives off more warmth than you’d think for something that fits on a table.

If you’ve got the space and you can be around an open flame, it’s a surprisingly good little upgrade.